PIPER-Rx - Rules (Fun)

Favourite truisms for the Applications Administrator

The three (3) most important rules for managing your application

Rule 1

Nothing shall prevent the “month end” closing on time

Rule 2

Nothing shall prevent me from knowing my cash/stock position at any time

Rule 3

See rule one and two

Favorite sayings

I don’t do patching or cloning - The DBA's love that kind of stuff

[DBA]"The database has crashed" - [You] Call me when it is back up and the concurrent managers have started

Obviously you have confused me with someone who cares
or a more polite version
Please don’t confuse me with someone who cares

Where in my job description does it say I should care?

Discoverer

Until your last breath - Resist letting your users use Discoverer®

80:20 Rules

Don’t sweat the small stuff

80% of the application performance issues will be caused by 20% of users

Users

During high processing time, my work is more important than anyone else’s

During normal processing time users will faithfully promise not to run those high cost reports and processes during peak processing times....but when it gets to month end they will just run them again!!!

Seek out the guilty and make an example of them

If it was not for users the application would run at 100% performance

The only good user is a dead one…. :-)

Last update: Mar 2012